If you were to adopt, when they’re old enough to understand, would you tell them that they are adopted ? ?

Question: If you were to adopt, when they're old enough to understand, would you tell them that they are adopted ? ?

Asked by rhiaaannon to Claire, Greg, Jane, Jo, Vicki on 24 Jun 2010 in Categories: General.
- Jane Cleal answered on 22 Jun 2010:
  
  Hi Rhianon,
  That is a difficult question, it is up to each person to decide what they do. I probably would once they were quite old and I knew they would understand.
- Claire O'Donnell answered on 22 Jun 2010:
  
  Hi Rhiaannon,
  Yes. I think it’s really important to be honest with children. My friend has adopted children and they’ve known for a long time, since they were about 3 or 4 I think. The important thing is to make sure the children don’t feel their biological parents didn’t want them, (people are usualy heartbroken when they realise the best thing for their child is to be adopted) and to make sure they know how much they are loved and valued by their adoptive parents.
  I guess their birth certificate would have their biological parents on it and I thin it could be a bit of a bombshell to find out when you’re 18. If you didn’t tell them and they only found out when you died you wouldn’t be able to answer their questions about how it all came to happen which I think would be very hard on them
- Vicki Onions answered on 22 Jun 2010:
  
  Hi Rhiaannon
  Personally, yes i would. I shouldn’t like to take the risk that they would hear it from someone else by mistake
- Jo Broadbent answered on 22 Jun 2010:
  
  Hi Rhiannon
  
  Yes, I think I would. In fact, I think I would tell them from being very small, so they always knew and it didn’t come as a surprise – so it was part of their view of themselves and the world. I think its important for people to know where they have come from.
  
  Jo
- Greg FitzHarris answered on 24 Jun 2010:
  
  Thats a really great question. Ive no idea!
  
  I imagine there are guidelines for this — i suspect that once they are a certain age kids have the ‘right to know they are adopted. But to be honest im just guessing that from what ive seen on telly!
  
  I guess (am thinking on my feet a bit here), if my wife and I adopted we probably would want to tell them at some point because if you dont, its like misleading them into thinking they are genetically yours… which feels a little dishonest.
  
  What do you think?

Question: If you were to adopt, when they're old enough to understand, would you tell them that they are adopted ? ?

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